Writer's Workshop: What I'd Do as New Mom

>> Thursday, April 8, 2010

Oh, there is a long list of what I'd do differently given the chance. A long, long list. I am not ashamed to admit that one of the reasons why I'd like a second child someday is so I can have a do-over. That sounds terrible, but I've realized some things in my 8+ months as a mommy, and I'd like a chance to use what I've learned with our next baby. So sue me.

I would definitely, definitely get professional maternity pictures done. Definitely. I love the photos that my husband took of pregnant me. They are lovely. But the problem is, he isn't in any of them. There's a couple crappy snapshots people took at my shower, and a couple where we did that awkward production of holding the camera up above our heads and snapping blindly, hoping that both of us are in the photo. In those ones you can't even see my belly. Awesome.

Another thing I plan on doing is going natural. Before you jump in and say "You don't get a medal for going med free" and "Don't try to be a hero", let me explain to you what happened in my last labour. The stupid epidural froze ONLY my legs. That's right. I felt EVERYTHING above my waist, but I was powerless to walk around, take a shower, bounce on my yoga ball or any of the things I'd planned on to get me through the pain because my legs were totally numb. Not cool.

Next time, I am getting a midwife instead of a bossy OB and I am having my baby at a birthing centre, in a birthing tub. I am taking hypnobirthing or hypnobabies to deal with the pain, and it is going to be a magical experience. And I WILL give myself a medal. Or a trophy. Because I've never won one and it makes me feel sad.

Don't judge me for being a hippie. The over-medicated, impersonal hospital birth didn't work for me last time, next time I'm trying something new. I would do a home birth if I wasn't terrified, so maybe that interferes with my crunchy, earth mama status, but baby steps. No pun intended, I swear.

To capture this magical experience, I am hiring a photographer. Again with the photos, I know. Our hospital photos, while precious to us, are terrible. Two exhausted brand new parents were in absolutely no frame of mind to be creating great art. Grainy, blurry photos of the most important moment of your life are NOT cool. I will not be getting any crotch shots or anything like that (I still have a very tiny sliver of dignity left), but at the end I will have a beautiful, non-crotch shotty slideshow like this. Best slideshow ever. Seriously. Watch it. Go now!

Aside from the stuff I will do differently during the pregnancy and birth, I'm happy to say that there isn't a whole lot I would change about the way I mother. I may look back in a couple of years and think WHAT WAS I THINKING!?!, but for now, I am satisfied and happy with the way that I am taking care of my son. You know what they say, though. Hindsight is 20/20, and I may be living in a sleep-deprivation induced bubble of rose-coloured denial.

Check back with me when I have a toddler and I can talk from a safe distance about everything I'll do differently next time.


This has been part of Mama Kat's pretty much world famous writers workshop. Head over and check out the other submissions, or enter one of your own!


Megan@SortaCrunchy April 8, 2010 at 8:16 AM  

I think it's completely normal to foresee a do-over of sorts with the second child! I know I was delighted to be able to do so many things differently when our second child was born.

Instead of a homebirth, maybe you could find a free-standing birth center? Or a doula-supported birth at the hospital?

Anonymous April 8, 2010 at 10:04 AM  

I love this post! I've been thinking about where/how I (will) want to have my children...I want to be in a hospital, because if something goes wrong (as it has in both my hubby's and my families) I want all the medical equipment RIGHT THERE. But I don't want people pushing meds, pushing formula, and just being generally annoying. Hmmmm. Oh well, still not pregnant, got some time to think :-)

Suzie Que April 8, 2010 at 10:31 AM  

I don't plan on ever having children so I say you get a medal for giving birth in the first place. The birth of your child should be the exact experience you envision. If you have the opportunity to learn from hind sight and make that happen, then I tip my hat to you!

Shelley April 8, 2010 at 11:53 AM  

Hey, i found you through mama kat. I just watched the slideshow and read that post and I saved it to my favorites because I loved it so much. Thank you for sharing! I never really considered doing a home birth or having a photographer but wow my eyes are open now!


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