Flame Free Friday Confession: Pregnancy Bytes

I hated being pregnant. Hated it. It surprised the hell out of me, too. I was one of those people who, even as a teenager, used to dream about being pregnant and couldn't wait for it to happen to me. I thought that I would look adorable, that I wouldn't get stretch marks (my mom didn't) and that I would feel overjoyed at the miracle of knowing that life was inside me.

\To be honest, when it happened, it kind of freaked me out. And when I could see my sweet Baboo rolling around in there, I thought it was kind of gross. I usually enjoyed feeling his kicks when they first started up, but if you know my baby, he's a mover and shaker and he went NUTS in there several times a day. After half an hour of crazy, non-stop kicking, I just wanted him to calm.down. It hurt. And it still hurts. We bedshare and I consistently wake up because I'm being kicked in the leg/stomach/head. This child!

For the trimester of my pregnancy, all I could eat was oranges and cucumber, and all I could drink was water. All of my favourite things made me ill, and even the SMELL of coffee made me want to vomit.Then in the second trimester my appetite came back with a vengeance and I ate two breakfasts, two lunches and two dinners daily. In third tri my appetite started to level out, but at that point food was my only comfort and I force fed myself two lunches every day because I just enjoyed eating that.much. Sad, no?

Then there was the sciatica. The horrible, horrible back pain. People did NOT GET IT. They were all like "You're barely showing, how can your back hurt that bad?" And I was all like "BECAUSE AN ENTIRE PERSON IS LIVING ON.MY.SPINE." I had a regular sized baby, people, and guess what: If he isn't pushing my belly way out, it's probably because he's ON MY SPINE. ON A FREAKIN NERVE. And we were poor and didn't have health insurance so there was no chiropractic or massage for me. By the end of each day I was limping home, and sometimes, I kid you not, I would honestly just collapse. My legs would literally give out on my way to the car, and I'd just fall down.

"I'm sure some of you are reading this and thinking, so what?"

And I understand, and you are right. So what, indeed? I did not have a high risk pregnancy. I wasn't going to weekly ultrasounds, stuck on bedrest or dealing with a sudden onset of pregnancy related diabetes. Compared to a lot of women, my pregnancy rocked. But here is the truly flammable part:

Many of these women who were high risk and went through crazy complications would be willing to do it again in order to have another child. I, on the other hand, am seriously considering adopting. I hated my run-of-the-mill pregnancy THAT MUCH.

My womb is empty, and I kinda hope it stays that way.