Life in a Nutshell

We've had a lot going on lately , so instead of a long, rambling blog post like I usually do, I'm going to attempt just short updates on each recent event in our lives. We'll see if I can keep the blabbering to a minimum. We'll start with today and work our way backwards.

Elimination Communication:
Today was my second attempt at Elimination Communication. When I first heard of this I thought it was insanity, and that anyone who tried it would end up with pee and crap all over their house and would spend their kid's entire childhood running back and forth to the bathroom, but I've since revised my opinion. It need not be all or nothing. I am not going to have a "diaper free baby", but I am going to attempt to read his cues and learn when he has to go, and then hold him over the toilet during that time so that we use less diapers and they are strictly there as insurance. My main reason for attempting this is because I want to be eco-friendly. My preference would be to use cloth diapers and only use disposables when we are out, but we don't have a washer and dryer in our unit. We actually share ONE machine with the six families who live in this building, so CDing is out of the question, sadly. On top of that we'll save a ton of cash, which is always good.  Anyway, two days ago I held Baboo over the toilet and he was only interested in standing on the seat. Today the same thing happened, except that as soon as I took him off the toilet and into his bedroom to put a new diaper on him, he peed all over his change table. Awesome. : /

My Simple Thanksgiving Dinner:
We had a small Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, just the three of us, which was no small feat. Baboo was tired from his big weekend and wanting to eat every hour, and The Hubbs was sick with a cold. It was a far cry from the last Thanksgiving dinner I made two years ago. That year I made a turkey, stuffed peppers, a build your own salad bar, garlic pesto muffins, hash brown casserole, corn on the cob with gingerbread brownies and strawberry wine. All of it from scratch (minus the wine.)
This year there was no way that was happening with a baby. The Hubbs and I eat sandwhiches three times a day. I decided to do my best, and we had:
Hors D'oevres (Cubes of cheddar, sliced pickles and salami)
Roast Chicken (which I bought premade from the deli, drizzled with extra sauce to keep the moisture in and warmed in the oven)
Hash Brown Casserole (we used frozen hash browns, baked them, then mixed in sour cream and grated cheddar and baked until brown)
Orange Butternut Squash Soup (we bought a carton of soup, then I squeezed orange juice into it, and added cinnamon and minced onions) with Home Made Croutons (whole wheat bread cut into cubes, drizzled with oil and toasted)
Crunchy Vegetables (frozen mixed Asian vegetables, sauteed in grapeseed oil, seasoned with oregano, topped with grated mozzerella and crunchy salad topping by Mrs. Dash)
and Pumpkin Pie (store bought, heated in the oven, add whipped cream)

Our Sweet Baboo's Christening:
It was at my parents' home (which is now just my mother's home since she made the father figure move out). A lot of my relatives were late and missed the actual ceremony (which always happens, see exhibit A: my bridal shower, Exhibit B: my wedding and Exhibit C: my baby shower). The ceremony was nice, though Baboo was a little cranky. I think he was uncomfortable in his super formal clothes. We wanted to Christen him in this:

But they only sell it at Babies R Us in the states (there will be a rant at a later date about why I can't get anything good for my baby in this country), so he wound up wearing this:

He was not happy, especially about the hat lol. We wound up changing him about an hour after the ceremony. I also made my first movie in honour of the day! It had an opening menu page with a montage of scenes from it and special music, a title page and credits and everything! Go me! It had a bunch of video clips and pictures from Baboo's life, and concluded with a Bible verse about Baboo's name (he has a Bible name). Everyone loved it. I am going to make another DVD of his first 6 months for each set of grandparents for Christmas. His Christening was followed by a big Thanksgiving dinner and a second showing of the movie for the late comers.

 

Annoyingly, my father kept trying to hold Baboo, and I didn't like it. I don't like or trust him, and I don't want people I don't like or trust around my baby. I kept trying to take a picture of Baboo and my mother together, and he kept jumping in. It really pissed me off, and now we have NO photos of just Baboo and my mom at his Christening. I am thoroughly annoyed. Especially since my mom revealed the following two tidbits to me recently:

a)The first time he ever "spanked" me was when I was 6 months old. I had comitted the crime of not holding my own bottle.

b) When I was a year old he was fighting with my mom in the car and threatened to run the car off the road.

And that (among many, MANY other reasons) is why he will never be alone with my son.

Knox Pumpkin Farm:

In honour of Our Sweet Baboo's first fall, we went to the pumpkin patch for photos. We dressed him up in a fallish outfit (brown pants, orange long-sleeved onesie and an orange jack-o-lantern bib with a blue and orange winter vest). He was a little cold (though it was one of the nicer days we've had this fall) and a little tired, but he was a good sport. We didn't get the awesome photos I anticipated, though, because it's hard doing outdoor pictures with a baby who doesn't sit up yet. He did have his first hay ride, though, which he seemed to enjoy, swung on a tire swing  and saw a pony (which he couldn't have cared less about).

School of Mom:

Lately I've been feeling like I haven't been taking advantage of the opportunity I have to be at home with my son. I shouldn't just be hanging out with him all day (especially since we rarely go on outings), I feel like I should be teaching him and enriching his life in some way, you know? I've written about the kind of mom I want to be, and I think I need to start doing more with him now that the missing fourth trimester is just about over.

So every day for the past couple weeks Baboo and I do the following (in no specific order):

-Read books

-Play music (I play him  simple songs on the recorder that I picked up for two bucks at Dollarama)

-Practice signing (we've decided to do baby sign language, I got a DVD from the library)

-Practice French (I sing french songs to him and say certain words to him in English and then repeat them in French (I went to French school and he will too). I'm trying to get into the habit of saying everything to him in French and then repeating it in English. Here are some tips for a bilingual baby if you know another language and are interested in doing the same.

-Elimination Communication (you've already read about that)

-Tummy time

-Alone time (I give him time to just hang out and babble to himself. He lets me know when he's done being alone).

And of course we still spend the majority of the day just snuggling, laughing, playing and of course, breatfeeding!!!

Sexual Healing:

To sum up, I am healed, but there is still no sex. We have tried about 3 times, but I am locked up tighter than Fort Knox and drier than the Sahara. We need LOTS of lube, LOTS of wine, and LOTS of time. We are having a date night soon (we will get my mom to baby-sit, my grandmother will be there so I dont need to worry about my mom relapsing (<----see first post on this page) and possibly hurting Baboo) and we are going to go to dinner, drink until our hearts' content, and then come home and make babies (only without actually making babies).

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Songs for my Son

I added a playlist of music that reminds me of my kiddo on here. I sing a few of these songs to him every day. They all either have to do with parenthood, or have a message that I want him to know. Obviously he's too young to understand lyrics, but hopefully he hears the love behind them and as an adult will remember the list of songs his mother always sang to him.

I love to sing. I used to dream of being a successful singer/songwriter. Now I just want to be able to put a pen to paper, pick up my guitar and write something I can do at an open mic night at a coffeehouse somewhere. I feel like its important that as a wife and mom, I don't lose myself. However, there are so many goals that I have that I'm nowhere even close to realizing.

I feel like a lot my life has involved making trade-offs--one thing for another. Clearly, I can't have everything. I remember that I used to be so certain that I could do it all. And in a way I still think that I can--just not all at once. For instance, today I was looking at the baby photos of a photographer who uses one of the same message boards as me. As much as it pains me to admit that I'm green with envy, I can't help it. I really love photography, have been dabbling in it for over ten years, but I have never had that extra push to make something happen. I would love to take a photography class. In high school photography was always full and I couldn't get in. My small Christian liberal arts college didn't have a class. Of course I could always take a class elsewhere on the side, but school is expensive, and I should probably finish my formal education before pursuing my other interests on the side. See what I mean about trade offs? School leads to career, so that's important. But all my other interests (and there are a lot of them) have taken a back seat. In addition to photography, there is cooking, sewing, creative writing, yoga. . .and throughout my pregnancy I developed an interest in becoming a doula.

In my mind, this would be the perfect job for me. The flexible schedule and the fact that I'd be working for myself would allow me to make money, contribute in a way that's important while doing something I enjoy, and still have time for my family. Of course, I dont have time to get certified right now, but there'll be time for that later, right? Right???

My creative writing sits unread in countless journals on my shelves, and about once every two years I send something to a publisher--it inevitably comes back rejected. I can't sew well enough to replace a button, and though I know my way around a kitchen I want to be great. I want to make croissants from scratch, learn the art of flambé, roll my own sushi,  roast my own coffee beans, and jam my own jams with fruit that I grew in my own backyard.

(rows of my unpublished journals)

(getting busy in the kitchen on Thanksgiving)

As far as fitness, I went to yoga classes when I was pregnant and that was great! It did wonders for my back, which was wracked with sciatica the entire duration of my pregnancy. I used to go for runs and walks daily, and then I got pregnant and after a day of work could barely stand, let alone run. The nine months I was pregnant were far less than enjoyable, but I got something so beautiful out of it, even though I had to give up my daily walks and runs. Trade offs.

(me on a hike, two summers ago)

But that's not all. No, that's not all. I want to travel the world. Who doesn't, right? I want to quench my wanderlust by spending a month in Spain, island hopping around Hawaii, teaching at an English kindergarten in Dubai, volunteering at an orphanage in Africa and vacationing with the Hubby in French Polynesia. But who has the money for that with diapers and gripe water draining my account before my mat leave check even clears?

(picture of me on a map in the Caribbean, on what we didn't know would be our last pre-baby vacation.)

(picture I took on the beach in the Bahamas)

(riding a donkey in the Virgin Islands)

On top of all that (most important these days) I want to be a fantastic mom. And sometimes I feel that in order to be this one thing, I must be all the others. I must be fulfilled. I must be able to inspire my son with my art, whip up delicious meals for him and his friends at a moment's notice, tell him stories of all the places I've been and bring him along for some trips of his own. Teach him the power of growing things with his own hands and know that his fruit and vegetables were grown with love and without pesticides.

Is this what my little boy expects of me? I do not want to be that mom who is all talk and no action. I do not want to be that mom who takes their kid to the same dumpy little vacation spot two hours away every year, who allows their child to reach the age of 18 never having left the province. I do not want to be that mom who can only hand out premixed pillsbury cookies at the school bake sale, and only provides microwave popcorn as an after school snack.  I don't want to be that mom who never quite figures out how to balance home and work, so she isn't very good at either.

I tell myself there is time. I am young. I am a mom, but my life does not end here. I can still do. I can still be. Right now I breastfeed, change diapers and wipe up spit-up round the clock, but that doesn't mean that's all there ever will be. The most important thing for me to show my son, beyond art, beyond Africa, is love. And that I have in spades. It is inherent in every diaper I change, every ounce of milk I give my kid, and every time I lovingly wipe spit up off his chins. Nothing matters more than that.

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