Mommy's Little Warden

>> Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I would just like to say that I now understand why sleep deprivation is the number one form of torture. I am certain that this child is working me over for information--and I would give it up if I had any idea what it was he wanted to know!

Let me just say, that I curse the liars who told me that it gets better. It does not get better. It gets worse. The first couple weeks I felt like I had a handle on things. I had energy. I was doing fine. All was well. Since then, I have just been getting more and more tired. This morning I laid in bed for two and a half hours with Baboo beside me. He was wide awake, kicking and babbling and smiling away. I should have sat up and joined him and enjoyed him. But I physically could not.

I could only muster the strength to push the little warden further away so that he was no longer repeatedly kicking and punching me with his tiny but surprisingly effective fists. I begged for mercy, but he would not oblige. Apparently "Please go to sleep baby, Mommy's so tired," means "Punch me harder. Please."

Apparently this kid believes in corporal punishment, and my crime was not being ready to play at 6 am. I would have no problem playing at 6 am if this child would just sleep through the night. If he went to bed at midnight and woke up at 6 I'd be thrilled. I'd be over the moon. I would weep with the joy and relief of actually being able to get in and out of REM uninterrupted. But no such luck. Nope, our Sweet Baboo has his mommy and daddy's metabolism and needs to eat every two or three hours. I may be a sleep deprived, java swilling train wreck, but at least I'm skinny.

Who am I kidding. Between lack of sleep and not being able to find the time to bathe, I look like a famine survivor living in a war zone. Covered in spit-up.

Mommy's a wreck, baby. Please let me sleep!

You know what Kills me? (Yes, "Kill" with a capital "K".) My husband has been off school for a month between semesters, and just had his first morning back this A.M. Since I am up with Baboo all night, when he is here in the morning it is his job to watch him from 6-9 so I can get some extra sleep. For the past week Sweet Baboo has been waking up to eat between 5:30 and 6 as usual, then going back to sleep until 8:30-9:00. So he has stayed in bed with me that whole time, virtually eliminating Hubby's shift.  I was wondering how long that new habit would last, and today I have my answer. Hubby's back in class, and Baboo picks this morning to wake up at 5:45 and stay up.

While I was typing this incoherent, exhausted rant, my Little Warden fell asleep on my chest in the Snugli.
"Great!", you think. "Now you can go back to bed," you think.
You would think.
But you would be wrong.

I'm now a prisoner of the Snugli until this kiddo wakes up. If I try to take him out so that I can lie down, his eyes will pop open and he'll either scream bloody murder, or want to play. Neither of those sound appealing to me right now. The best I can do is try to recline in this computer chair and catch some Zzzz's that way. It'll be uncomfortable, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I could fall asleep walking down the street right now.

By the way, I will pay BIG MONEY to anyone who can design a baby wearing device you can use while lying down. I will sign over my 401 (k) to you. That is, once I graduate from college, get a job, and move to the US where they actually have those.



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