This is my life now.

>> Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Today I had big plans. I would start with an early morning photo shoot of Baboo, with my background all laid out. He would fall asleep in my arms, and I'd gingerly transfer him to the boppy, which I'd already set up on the couch and draped with fabric. Then I'd finally get those elusive, quasi-professional quality sleeping photos that I've been wanting forever, but that never seem to materialize because he always wakes up.

Then I'd load the pictures onto the computer, and then when Baboo woke up we'd go for a walk. I'd stop by our new library for a library card so I wouldn't have to use The Hubbs', then drop off a roll of film for processing. I was recently given the advice that the best way to learn to take photos is to use film, and my film camera kicks my digital camera's A-double-s anyway, so I took the advice and was excited to drop off my film and see how my experiment turned out. Then to the post office, where I'd pick up a package that was waiting for us, and then on our way home I'd stop at the store for some storage bins and labels to finally get this house in order.

Here's what actually happened:

The pictures in the morning light were awful. It is much too harsh and white, and while Baboo looks beautiful in that light in person, on the camera it was a whole other story. Not to mention the fact that he was awake. I thought I'd give editing those photos my best shot, and then try to reshoot at his next nap. Only I couldn't find the cord to get the pictures on the computer--wanna know why? Because of the lack of labelled storage bins. There isn't a place for everything in this house, and even if there was, everything wouldn't be in its place.

When Boo finally fell asleep, I thought, this is it! I wanted adorable sleeping infant pictures, and those always look better without clothes, so I had thought ahead and stripped him down to his diaper, then swaddled him so it would be easy to get the naked look for the shoot. Except as soon as I placed him down, he started to stir. Even though the Boppy was already carefully placed beneath the fabric, on the couch. Even though all I had to do was gently de-swaddle him. He wasn't having it. He woke up, and then he cried. And then I cried (on the inside at least). So I decided to scrap the photo shoot for today, and re-try for another day--perhaps the day when he's all drugged out on Tylenol after getting his shots (Kidding, kind of).

Later we tried to go out and do our errands, and I brought the camera so that I could maybe get some good photos of the changing leaves, since my favourite subject wasn't cooperating. I put him in the stroller and as soon as I did he had a fit of epic proportions. It was unreal. I decided to see if he'd stop crying by the time we got to the end of the street, then switch him to the baby carrier if he didn't. He didn't, so I switched him. He's getting so. heavy. Halfway to the store I realized I forgot my wallet. Awesome. I turned around the go home, deciding to scrap the whole day, and then had the brilliant idea that I'd go to the woods and take some photos there. But Boo is heavy, and his stroller is heavy, and the woods are hilly and when I got to the entrance to the woods I realized I was hungry and thirsty and hadn't had a bite to eat all day. Boo reminded me of this by bobbing his head up and down until I got the hint that he wanted to eat. So I latched him on, flashing my boob in public, and turned around and went home. I thought I'd at least take a couple shots of the big tree behind our building, but as soon as I started hitting my stride, I lost my light. And then my batteries died.

I know when I'm defeated, so I came inside. Baboo is still asleep strapped to my chest, and I had a half a bag of corn chips for lunch because its too hard to make anything decent with him on me.

Is this my life now? Chaos and frustration? This is my life now.

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